So, I'm an outlandishly negative person. A contrarian of the highest order. So much so that I'm constantly finding ways to take whatever positive thoughts I have about myself (or compliments other people give me) and turn them into a rancid indictment of my inability to do just about anything. I'm sunny like that with mine.
At any rate, I happen to find most of these statements outrageously humorous and end up laughing at the heights I go to to hate myself. So, seeing as though you should probably hate me too (hey, it's worth a laugh here and there) I'm going to start sharing these statements in the hopes that you will find them as funny as I do and use them to batter your own self-esteem and that of the ones you love. Starting with this one from just last night:
"I gotta get a job soon. I'm losing so much weight being unemployed that its gonna be a bitch to hang myself when I'm skinny like this."
Hahaha...HIGH-larious right?! Keep looking out for more of these in the near future.