Black, White, and Lame All Over

Let's talk politics. I don't mean let's talk about the moronic concepts of left-wing vs right-wing or liberal vs conservative or jackass vs fat ass; I'm talking about the actual game of politics. I'm talking about the bullshit that gets shoveled around ever couple of years that has Americans foaming at the mouth to vote for new prom kings and queens every time a "sexier" candidate enters the forum. I'm talking about the fantastic shell game that has been going on in this country since 1776. I'm talking about the art of selling people a can of Budweiser and telling them it's champagne.

As a black man, I'm very proud of Barack Obama for achieving a feat that I never thought I'd see in my lifetime: a (sort of) black president. Now let me say something that is going to piss a lot of people off: I've never been a Barack Obama fan. I like Obama as a person. I'd love to have a beer and catch a game with the brotha. I'd like to hear him describe how it felt to reach a height that we as black people never thought we'd reach. Then I'd like to ask him what his long range economic recovery plan looks like. I'd like to know why he hasn't taken a hard line on pretty much anything since he took office. I'd ask him why poor people are still getting locked up for smoking pot and most of Wall Street gets to go home and sleep in complete comfort every night. You know...questions about his job.

This is not an Obama bashing excursion. I just want to know why he sold Budweiser as champagne. Speaking of Budweiser (bad pun in 3...2..1...)I know some of you are thinking "Hell, he's better than Bush!". Which is true, but that's setting the bar pretty low isn't it? I mean Steve-O could probably do a comparable job to what George Bush did. Why bring up Bush? What can you possibly use to compare Obama and Bush? Where are they equal to each other? They are both politicians.

pol·i·ti·cian   /ˌpɒlɪˈtɪʃən/
[pol-i-tish-uhn]
–noun
1. a person who is active in party politics.
2. a seeker or holder of public office, who is more concerned about winning favor or retaining power than about maintaining principles.

How do politicians win favor and retain power? By selling Budweiser as champagne. Every election cycle we get a new crop of wolves in sheep's clothing making the same promises. You'd think that by now Americans would be living in a Utopia that was the envy of every nation on the planet. My driver's license just says Illinois, but maybe that is some sort of codename (HA!) Yet you see Americans from Tukwila to Bangor in red-faced fury over which candidate is the secular messiah sent by forces unknown to right all the evils of the last 235 years. Then four years later we're all bitching and complaining about how Senator X or House Speaker Y is the reason for all of our ills, but as soon as Representative A gets into office the sky is going to pour strippers and lollipops. Right, and Lil' Wayne is gonna win best new artist at the Country Music Awards (#sarcasm).

"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders" ©George Carlin

I don't get mad at the likes of Palin, Boehner, and Gingrich when I see them on television bad-mouthing our current president. They are just trying to win one for their team just like Obama, Clinton, and Biden were in 2008. A politician is a politician is a politician. And a politician by definition (see above)is just a pimp with better education. The sooner the majority of Americans come to this realization, the sooner we get closer to actual change in this country.

The Paper Mache Protest

Alright, for the past week I (and I'm assuming you, too) have been inundated with visions of protesters across the globe all with their panties in a bunch over Tibet, China, and the 2008 Olympics. I for one will stand at the top of the highest mountain I can climb and call bullshit on this entire charade.

My first issue with this whole sandpaper hand-job are the attempts by protesters to put out the Olympic torch. Are you serious? I know the whole idea of parading the torch around was invented by the Nazis, but attacking some poor guy who is just trying to live out a dream is completely deplorable. You're not helping the oppressed in Tibet or bringing to the forefront some human rights violation of the Chinese government by doing this; you are simply being an over zealous nut bag who can't separate his "protest of the moment" syndrome from an event that is not about China, it's just going to take place there. These feeble attempts to shine a light on a brutal regime is only shining a light on clueless protesters attacking a person carrying the Olympic torch. Besides, and someone should alert the protesters to this, if you put the torch out, they'll just relight it and move on to the next city.

The Olympics, as grand a stage as it is, is not a platform for your agendas. Yes, the Olympics are a corporate field day of agendas, but the games are also the culmination of a lifetime of effort by athletes that, even if they go home without a single medal, are proud to have had their moment in the spotlight. The greatest athletes in the world gather to compete in a centuries old tradition that still draws millions of eyes and start kicks millions of dreams...and you want to use it to whore your cause? And, yes you are whoring your cause because what is going on in Tibet ain't nothing new. Where were all of these protesters 10 year ago? Or even 10 months ago? The people of Tibet have been being stepped on for years and NOW you get off your ass to scream about it when the cameras are on? You gotta do better than that.

My second and biggest issue with these protests has to do with the general ineffectiveness of protesting something like this. You think governments across the world have been clueless all these years about what goes on beyond the borders of China? No, they just haven't cared; and I doubt they will start to care any time soon. Especially with China emerging as THE super power now that America's light seems to be fading. These countries want to get their slice of the Chinese pie and they aren't going to let some misguided, though well-meaning protesters stop the money train.

If you want to let the world know how you feel about Chinese oppression you have to use the only tool that powerful countries care about...money. You've got to stop buying stock in Chinese companies, stop buying products made in China, push your congressman on legislation that would put economic sanctions on China until they atone for their wrongs. If that doesn't work, take the cause to another level. Go to China, help organize Tibetans and other oppressed Chinese to make the social and governmental changes that need to be made to make their lives bearable and to give them a voice (on some real Beastie Boys type shit).

But none of these things are going to happen and the number one reason why is most of the people participating in and doing stories on this paper mache protest are only half-hearted. It's the spirit of America: protest oil today, global warming tomorrow, Mumia Abu-Jamal (there STILL needs to be more noise made over this case) next week. We float from luke -warm hatred to luke-warm passion to our Ford SUV in the blink of an eye. So while this is a serious issue that deserves serious action, we'll put it on the shelf with Iraq and Darfur and all the other "protest of the moment" fire that we seem to get from time to time. Besides most people in this country can't even find the Tibet region of China on the map.

It's Only Wednesday??

I'm getting sick which means I'm more cranky than usual (if that level of cranky is even possible) so here we go...


The Speed Limit:

Is there any reason why most people treat the speed limit like the sign reads "Speed Minimum"? If you try driving 30 mph in a 30 mph zone you'll probably be honked at and fingered (no pun) by every single car you see sans old drivers. I'm on my way to work today driving 40 in a 30 and the guy behind me is acting like I'm parked. We're on a one-lane road and he's constantly trying to pass me in his (insert gas guzzling SUV here)which gets even more annoying because we're on a one-lane road. When he finally gets to an intersection where he can pass me he does so by bolting past me at maybe 50 while giving me a dirty frown which promptly makes me laugh at him.
Here's the big idea: IT'S A SPEED LIMIT!!! If you can't understand these simple terms then you shouldn't be driving.

This is a damn shame:
I was reading an article earlier about how Jesse Jackson was going around some cit BEGGING parents in black neighborhoods to send their kids to school. Come the fuck on black folks!! Our people spent all those damn years trying to get a good education for us and now we ain't even sending our kids to the school we fought for them to go to?! You might as well go up to your grandmother and spit in her face. And throw whatever ideas you have of Jesse out the window; he's not my favorite person on the planet but at least this time he's getting some TV face-time over a good cause. My mom would've beat the black off of me (and believe me she tried a few times) if I didn't go to school. We lived in the projects, we had no money, but we were gonna get that "edumencation" whether we liked it or not. Why is it that the same people in our community who are the biggest seller of the "White man holding me down" game are also the same people who don't do anything to uplift themselves?

Kanye West Vs. 50 Cent = A Loss For All Music Fans:
In all the hoopla over the Kanye vs. 50 9/11 CD release, I couldn't wait until a friend of mine came over with his *ahem* advance copy *ahem* of both CDs. My verdict: Kanye's album=marginally entertaining, 50's album=shit sandwich. Which is to say they both failed to make a positive impression on my ears. The release date drama is a loss for fans and a win for both artists and their record labels. The artists and the labels get to cook up some nonexistent beef between the two artists over who will sell the most albums (which record labels mistakingly think means it was a better album)which makes the sheepish fans go out and buy more albums. It's really a wonderful strategy in a time where a top selling hip hop album may not even go platinum. The fans lose because the artists and labels are not selling you music; they are selling you image. Neither one of these CDs is a musical masterpiece despite what Kanye and 50 supporters may have you think. Go fork over your hard-earned money on 9/11 for some hot garbage if you want to, but I'll be at home with money in hand and better music on my mind.


A Gay Senator Is Only Newsworthy For So Long:
It was entertaining, it was shocking, it was an undeniably dumb move, but for the love of everything holy can we please move on from this? Whether Larry Craig resigns or shows up at the next press conference dressed as Shirley Temple, this story has lost it's flavor. Even I posted a little video connected to the incident last week...and then I moved on with my life as most other Americans did. There are 300 million other more important stories going on in the world and the media is reporting on some senator who tried to pull a George Michael in the bathroom like it's the capture of Osama Bin Laden. Keep beating the story to death and keep watching those ratings continue to fall...or take the revolutionary approach and report the NEWS. Just a thought