Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I couldn't have said it better myself


Your opinion is probably dumb

We're running out of intelligent people. I sincerely believe this. Everyday of my life, I meet someone who has the IQ of diaper rash and it's starting to become an epidemic. For example, I sometimes stop at the Dunkin' Donuts by my apartment on the way to work as I'm trying to ween myself off of the 8 oz crack vile known as Red Bull. Last Friday I stopped in to get a coffee and a cholesterol-filled croissant when the following exchange took place between me and the allegedly intelligent life form behind the counter:

Me: Can I have a sausage and cheese croissant and a medium coffee black, please?

Cock-for-brains: Would you like cream and sugar?

Me: *still in awe of the dumbassity*....no, black please.

CFB: Ok. *turns to the girl next to her* Sausage, egg, and cheese croissant

Me: No, uh...just sausage and cheese

CFB: Just egg and cheese?

I damn near came across the counter with a bat.

It has gotten to the point that media outlets and product marketing campaigns have acknowledged that people are idiots and have started almost calling you a fucking mongoloid to your face and for some reason people don't seem bothered by this (because they are obviously idiots). Take for example the Democratic nominees for President. Marketing to idiots is the reason why smart candidates don't win elections. Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and John Edwards are the only 3 candidates most people can name; yet most people have no idea where they stand on any topics of concern. How can you pick a President out of 3 front runners who you know by name and face only? Easy, you sell their image to people. Hilary=hard-nosed, cut-throat, heartless bitch who'll get the job done. Obama=young idealist who speaks powerfully, says all the right things, and looks like he gives a shit while doing it (and he has the whole non-threatening black male thing that white people love a la Will Smith). John Edwards is the Barack knock-off that house wives wanna bang. Where do they stand on the issues? Who gives a shit. All they need is tons of image and a good campaign slogan.

Meanwhile, Dennis Kucinich andMike Gravel (who have no marketable traits) seem to constantly be hammering on the issues while fighting each other for who is gonna beat out Bill Richardson or Joe Biden for the last place spot. I knew they never had a chance because we have an idiot in office now who was elected by idiots. We have a crop of politicians telling you that a war the they voted for, by a landslide, was all one person's fault. But wait, there's more. Although they gave this person the power to do a whole gaggle of poorly thought out and obviously unwarranted actions, they cannot be held accountable since they all proclaimed a collective "my bad". Then they pointed the finger at the Idiot-in-Chief because he gave us misleading information and led us into a bad war...while the proceed to give us misleading information of their own brand. Only an idiot would believe that the same people that chose to get us into a stupid war are smart enough to get us out of it. But I digress...

The biggest challenge facing those of us who wish to banish the idiot is that we'd have to stop them from procreating which is a pretty difficult task considering A) Kentucky is still a state and B) idiots don't use condoms or birth control...we're screwed, literally. The next option would be to educate the morons among us which would only result in some kind of moron revolt where they tried to beat us into submission with their non stop quest to ask questions that had already been answered (refer to the Cock-for-brains example for proof).

Monday, July 30, 2007

Let The Damnation Begin

So I've finally taken Michelle's advice and started a blog. What does that mean? Well, for the most part it means that I'm gonna be talking a lot more crap and being a tad bit more expressive with my cynicism and critical outlook on day to day life. Why am I doing this? I have no Goddamn idea. I guess it is a way for me to infect other people with whatever disease that forces me to talk so fuckin much about nothing of any real importance. Whatever it is, you assholes are stuck with me now and I have a lot more space to piss on your ideologies and shit on your divinities© Company Flow.

At any rate, I'm just feeling my way around the set up of this thing so bear with me while I get started. Rest assured that once I get my feet wet (read: someone pisses me off severely...start the clock NOW) I will have a lot more to say.

So take a look around, get settled in, and get familiar with what I like to call 'Preserved Disorder'.