Self-Depriciating Encouragement Part 1

So, I'm an outlandishly negative person. A contrarian of the highest order. So much so that I'm constantly finding ways to take whatever positive thoughts I have about myself (or compliments other people give me) and turn them into a rancid indictment of my inability to do just about anything. I'm sunny like that with mine.

At any rate, I happen to find most of these statements outrageously humorous and end up laughing at the heights I go to to hate myself. So, seeing as though you should probably hate me too (hey, it's worth a laugh here and there) I'm going to start sharing these statements in the hopes that you will find them as funny as I do and use them to batter your own self-esteem and that of the ones you love. Starting with this one from just last night:

"I gotta get a job soon. I'm losing so much weight being unemployed that its gonna be a bitch to hang myself when I'm skinny like this."

Hahaha...HIGH-larious right?! Keep looking out for more of these in the near future.

About that writing everyday thing...

So, a very selfish and rude storm came through last evening and derailed my latest attempt to actually be productive. I got a few posts in the works and as soon as I can get to a friendlier computer (i.e. one not located at my job) I will continue to provide you with the latest high-brow ranting that I can come up with. To be continued...